The Island of Haruhi Suzumiya
by 7MukuroRealm7
Summary: Haruhi and the SOS Brigade get stranded on Gilligan's Isle, and they try to make due being stranded. FIRST CHAPTER IS TRAGEDY/ANGST, NOT HUMOR! BE CAREFUL!
1. Pilot: Episode 1

Mukuro: Once again, I am writing a fanfiction based off of one of superstarultras' oneshots. This story is entitled Haruhi's Isle. 9 castaways (Haruhi, Kyon, Yuki, Ryoko, Mikuru, Koizumi, Tsuruya, Taniguchi, and Kunikida.) are stranded on a deserted island. This will be a continuing, possibly never ending, fanfiction. I will fall back on this story whenever I need some comedy. The only problem is, this is the pilot and is a Tragedy/Angst. The comedy starts next chapter.

Haruhi's Isle

Pilot Episode: Stranded!

* * *

"Ugh… my head hurts…" Haruhi muttered, rubbing her forehead.

She then looked around, and couldn't believe what she saw. She was lying on the floor under the deck, with Kyon and the rest. Judging by the beer bottles scattered around the floor of the cabin, they had had a wild party. Now, she just needed to know what the heck she was doing and where the heck she was.

She walked up on to the deck of the ship, and began to look around.

"Where the heck are we?" She asked herself.

"How should I know?" I asked, causing her to jump.

"Oh… Kyon! Y-you startled me…"

"Yeah. I really have no idea where we are." I muttered.

"Well, one thing's for sure." Haruhi said.

"Oh? And that is?"

"We're not in Kansas anymore." She said, laughing. I laughed to. Little did I know, though, this would be one of the last times we laughed together for some time.

* * *

"So, the basic story is, that at some time when we were smashed, this ship rode off course and crashed on some island somewhere between Japan and Hawaii. In other words, we could be anywhere in the Pacific Ocean." Haruhi said, showing the eight of us a crude chalk drawing on an old chalk board we found in the center of what we had simply dubbed as camp.

Haruhi turned to Koizumi.

"Koizumi, you were the one at the wheel at the time. What exactly happened?"

"Well, Suzumiya-san, at the time we were on a course back to Japan, when a storm suddenly arose out of nowhere, swallowing the ship. The last thing I remember was we were drifting towards an island, and that's when I lost consciousness." Koizumi said.

"Okay, that has been noted in the SOS Brigade Log Book." Haruhi said, closing the crusty notebook she was writing in.

"So, any suggestions on what we should do before we're rescued?" She asked. Rescued? By whom? I know for a fact that four people here don't have people waiting for them, and three of them have families that would actually enjoy them being gone! It could take months before we're rescued!

"Um, Haru-chans?"

"Yes, Tsuruya-san?" Haruhi asked

"Well, I never tolds anyone we were going sailing, nyoro."

"Well, that pretty much kills any chance at us being rescued." I said.

"Don't lose faith, Kyon! My Brigade doesn't give up so easily! And you call yourself a brigade member!"

"No I don't, you do."

"It doesn't matter! Does anyone have any ideas?" Haruhi asked.

"Well, the best idea would be to have us attempting to build a shelter to house us, at least until we can be sure that there won't be any after effects of the typhoon." Koizumi said, grinning.

"That's a great idea, Koizumi!" Haruhi said.

"I also volunteer to take myself and Kyon to go searching for wood to build a signal fire." He said, grinning.

"Brilliant idea, Koizumi! I can see why you're my Deputy Brigade Leader!" Haruhi said. How many times must she bring that up?

"So, where do you think we should start looking for wood?" I asked.

"To be honest, I don't think a signal fire will help that much." Koizumi said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if we're here for the reason I think we're here, then a signal fire won't do any good."

"So, for what reason are we here?" I asked.

"I believe, judging by how Suzumiya-san is acting, that she has become bored with the world, but here conscious from starting the brigade is combating her desire to destroy and recreate the world. I believe that Suzumiya-san's conscious desperately wants to prove that this world has more than enough adventure to suit her tastes."

"So what your sayining is-"

"That Suzumiya-san has desired for us to stay on this deserted island until she can find an adventure to suit her."

"So, what do we do?" I asked.

"Well, I must say I don't know, but what matters at the second is making her happy. I'll bring back this fire wood, while you stay behind and gather more. I'll see if I can find anymore."

Jerk! You found that when we were talking! I then turned around, and bumped into Nagato.

"Oh, hey, Nagato, what's up!"

"Hello." She said in her monotonous voice.

"So, Nagato, you can connect to that data integrated whatchamacallit, right?"

"Affirmitive."

"Do you think you can?"

"That would not be possible."

"Why not?"

"Ever since arriving on this land, my connection to the Data Integrated Thought Entity has been nearly severed."

"Severed?"

"Yes. Connection to the Data Integration Thought Entity has been restricted to the point of being unable to relay any form o data. This holds true to myself and of subject named Ryoko Asakura. It is not within my knowledge if this has happened to other interfaces or if just the two of us."

"Wait, hasn't this happened before?"

"Affirmitive. This has happened once before in this interfaces existence. During the time we were located at the place where subject Suzuiya Haruhi held her winter excursion, due to the involvement of the Macral Quantum Entity."

"Is this the same thing as before?"

"With my currently limited means, verification of this would not be possible. However, significant proof has been relayed that may point the cause towards subject Haruhi Suzumiya."

"Great, more stuff about Haruhi." I muttered.

"Hey, Yuki! Where'd you run off to?" I heard Haruhi's voice shout out.

"Nagato, Haruhi's looking for you, you should probably return back to camp." I said.

"Affirmitive."

"Oh, and Nagato?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks for telling me this stuff about Haruhi."

She nodded once, turned around, and began walking into the jungle. Now, I can't be positive, but I could have sworn I heard her say "You're welcome".

So, I began my search for firewood. Considering how most of the trees on the island were palm trees, there weren't that many branches I could find, and I didn't want to go ripping up bushes to serve Haruhi's selfish needs.

I began walking back towards camp, when I realized I no longer knew where camp was. All around me was nothing but dense jungle as far as the eye could see. (Which, due to the denseness, was about 3 or 4 feet.)

"Boy, I hope Koizumi is enjoying his time at camp, because when I find him, I'm going to kill him." I muttered.

* * *

"Hey, Koizumi, where's Kyon?" Haruhi asked.

"Well, I found enough wood for myself to carry, so I thought I had best report to camp."

"Good thinking."

"Oh, Suzumiya-san, would you mind telling me where Taniguchi and Kunikida are?"

"Oh, those two? I sent them out to find the two of you, since you were gone for so long."

"I see."

"Well, we could use the extra muscle, right now, Koizumi. Go help with the construction of the hut." Haruhi said.

"Of course, Suzumiya-san."

"Oh, and Koizumi?" Haruhi asked, looking down at a rather large piece of wood in the pile.

"Yes, Suzumiya-san?"

"What's an S.S. Minnow?"

"It sounds like the name of a ship, to me."

"Okay." She then put the rest of the firewood to the side, and laid the inscribe chunk of wood next to the rest of the stuff she scavenged from Tsuruyas' wrecked yacht.

* * *

An hour later, and I'm still looking for the stupid camp.

"Hey, Kyon, you here?" I heard Taniguchi shout.

"Either I've been here longer than I thought, or Taniguchi found me!" I said.

And, lo and behold, Taniguchi came walking out of the brush with Kunikida right behind him.

"So, this is where you were, huh Kyon?" Taniguchi said.

"…Hey." I said. I was too tired to say anything else.

"Kyon, do you have any idea how worried we were?! You owe us big time!" Taniguchi shouted.

"Fine. Let's just go back to camp." I said.

"Okay, I think camp's this way." Kunikida said, pointing at one direction.

"No, it's this way, isn't it?" Taniguchi said.

"Well, let's just go this way." I said, pointing at a direction between the two.

So, we went in that direction. Suddenly, the ground beneath our feet gave way.

"Ow, that hurt…" Taniguchi muttered.

"THAT hurt? Try being under you!" I shouted.

"Where are we?" Kunikida asked.

"I think we're in some sort of underground cave." I said.

I looked around the cave. I couldn't see anything of interest. Just some clothes, two books, and…

"AAAAAAHHHH!" I shouted, pointing at a skeleton in a captains cap, sitting in a chair with the remains of a possibly once blue shirt over it.

"Oh my god, is that a skeleton?!" Taniguchi shouted.

"Yeah, it is."

"Hey, Kyon, maybe these books will give us a clue!" Kunikida said, picking up a book titled _The Diary of Roy Hinkley, Professor._

"Let's see what this book says." Taniguchi said.

"**Prof. Roy Hinkley's Journal. 9/26/65**" Kunikida read.

"This is really old!" I said.

"It has been exactly one year since we were stranded on this god-forsaken island. My fellow castaways and I have slowly been going insane."

"So, what's going on?" Taniguchi said, looking over our shoulder.

"Oh, here's another entry!" Kunikida said, looking near the end of the book.

"**Prof. Roy Hinkley's Journal. 9/26/79**"

"It has been 15 years since the shipwreck. Everything we have has slowly been deteriorating. Our radio has been broken, and we have nothing left but the bare essentials. I have recently found out that a typhoon will nearly destroy this island, so this will quite possibly be the last entry I write in this journal. I have hidden it in this cave, so I hope that you, the reader, will be able to tell the heroic tales of what happened to us, the survivors of the S.S. Minnow." Kunikida read.

"So that was the last entry he wrote?" I asked.

"No, it wasn't. There were a few more." Kunikida said, flipping to the next page.

"**Prof. Roy Hinkley's Journal. 12/25/80**"

"Well, surprise surprise! When we came back to civilization, we later celebrated by going on a Christmas Voyage. Little did we know, we were to be stranded once again. Unfortunately, I don't think this time our story will have a happy ending."

"**Prof. Roy Hinkley's Journal. 5/28/84**"

"We have been stranded on this island once again for almost four years now. We have been slowly going insane. Gilligan seems to be the only excerpt from this, and I hope this is not because he hasn't always been in this state of mental decay. We have been getting into more and more fights recently, and I hope that this won't escalate into anything to violent. Even myself, a man of science, does not seem to be excerpt from this."

"Was that the last entry?" Taniguchi asked.

"No there was one more." Kunikida said, flipping the page.

"**Prof. Roy Hinkley's Journal. 6/07/84**"

"We have been having more problems than I could ever comprehend. Mr. Howell, I'm sorry to say, has been murdered. Mrs. Howell decided to kill herself, seeing how she couldn't go on living. Any one of us may be next. We are now down to 5. I have called the Skipper to my hut, and I hope that something can be done to discover which of us is responsible. I can hear him coming now. Soon, I will"

"I will what?" I asked.

"That's it. There's nothing more written here." Kunikida said.

"Wait, what about the other book?" I asked, pulling out the second one. This one was entitled "The Minnows Log. Skipper Jonas Grumby"

"Well, the first entries are pretty much the same. However, the next ones are much different."

"Well, let's see them."

"**Captains Log, 6/07/84**"

"The Professor makes 3. 3 of my fellow castaways, my friends, dead because of me, because I talked them into that storm! I wonder how I'll be able to live with myself…"

"Here's his last entry." I said, flipping to the final page.

"**Captains Log, 8/04/84**"

"6 corpses. 6 friends. I have entombed them here, in this cave, where I right my final words. A landslide blocked the caves entrance, and I guess it's meant to be then. They say a captain should go down with his ship, and so I shall go down with my friends. There is something at work here, something I won't even try to comprehend."

"And that's it." I said.

"I say, we get out of here, and we seal up the cave, never to be opened again!" Taniuchi said, climbing up the wall and out the hole in the roof. Unfortunately, he stumbled and hit the ground. Hard.

"Taniguchi, are you okay?!" Kunikida shouted, rushing over to him.

"Yeah, but why are we here?" Suddenly, the wall Taniguchi had been climbing collapsed, and several large rocks hit the guys.

I managed to drag them both out of the cave. Luckily, they weren't hurt too badly, but neither one could remember anything about the cave. After Haruhi found us, I closed up the entrance to the cave, and we never went back there again.

* * *

Mukuro: So, after reading that, you're probably wondering what does this have to do with Haruhi? Keep in mind that this has nothing to do with the story, and is the pilot episode, which is usually much different. This is Tragedy/Angst, but the rest will be comedy. Remember, R & R! The end was kind of convenient, but I needed to end it easily with only Kyon knowing for future reasons.

Mukuro Out


	2. Episode 2

Mukuro: This is the actual beginning of the humor part of the story. This will also probably be my last update for a week or so.

Haruhi's Island

Episode 2: This hut ain't big enough for the both of us!

* * *

"Okay, now that we have our hut finished, let's decide what course of action we should take in deciding where to sleep." Haruhi said, walking in to the ramshakled, broken hut.

"That'll be hard." Taniguchi said whispering. "Considering that it's completely empty."

"Okay, we'll build a wall between the rooms, and the girls will get the left side, and the boys will get the right side." Haruhi said.

"So we get the right side?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'm fine."

So, we moved all our junk into the huts.

"Okay! The first order of business is to see what sort of stuff me brought that could help. So, everyone, bring out all your stuff!" Haruhi said, standing in the middle of the room.

Nagato, being, well, Nagato, had nothing to donate but a few novels, which, while providing us with reading material, wasn't very helpful.

Kunikida had nothing to donate, but Taniguchi had a few magazines that Haruhi tossed on to the firewood pile.

Tsuruya-san brought money and about ten tons of smoked-cheese, and that stuff tastes like crap.

Asahina-san brought a bunch of outfits, but, unfortunately, they were a bunch of cosplays, so I don't want to wear that maid outfit.

Asakura brought a combat knife and some clothes, which kind of makes me a bit nervous. I talked to Haruhi, and she confiscated the knife.

Koizumi, being Koizumi, brought a compass, a med kit, 100 boxes of matches, a radio, a compass, a flare gun, a coil of rope, and one hand piston with six shots.

We also had a bunch of loose odds and ends, stuff we probably won't ever use.

"So, this hut is storm-proof, right?" I asked Haruhi.

"Um………….Yeah!" Haruhi said, grinning.

"Why the dramatic pause?"

"Well, whether it is storm proof or it isn't, it'll have to make due" Koizumi said. "Listen to the radio."

"We interrupt this happy bulletin to bring you a news report! The storm that bypassed Hawaii is now on its' way towards the Pacific ocean. Once again, we warn all fishing craft and small boats to stay away from the islands for a while. If it hits you, you won't survive. And now, let's listen to some music from happy tunes-"

"And that's about the gist of it. We need to make do with this hut, we can't go around building more huts and get wiped out by a storm." Koizumi said, switching off the radio.

"Okay we need to waterproof the hut." Haruhi said.

"Water proofing won't do a thing. We're talking about a typhoon." I said. But, once again, no one listens to my opinions.

"Kyon, Taniguchi, Kunikida, get to work." Haruhi said.

"Fine…" I muttered.

And so, we got to work. We spent the whole day water proofing the hut, with Taniguchi's complaints, and the occasional help of Nagato and Koizumi.

"So, Kyon, you've done a good job water proofing the hut!" Haruhi said, smiling.

"Hey, we were working to!" Taniguchi said.

"Yeahs, you were!" Tsuruya said, grinning.

"Okay, guys, it's getting pretty dark, so let's turn in for the night." Asakura said, pulling the curtain across, blocking the two sides.

"Hey, Kyon, how do you think life is gonna go from here?" Taniguchi asked from the hammock next to mind.

"What do you mean?" I muttered.

"Well, we're stranded on the island with five beautiful girls! Eventually, we'll get down to somethin-" Before he could say anything else, I chucked my salvaged pillow at him, effectively telling him to shut up.

"Fine, if you don't care about my social life, I'll just go to sleep." Taniguchi said.

Great, now I just lost my pillow. I better go to sleep then. And I dozed off in seconds.

* * *

I awoke to the sounds of rain pounding the roof of our hut.

"My god, this storm is really coming down on us!" Koizumi said. Funny how even in a situation like this he can keep smiling so calmly.

"Yeah, I know!" Haruhi shouted.

"MOMMMEEEEEEEE!" Taniguchi wailed, clinging onto one of the support beams.

"Mikuru-channnnnnns!" Tsuruya shouted, grabbing on to Asahina-san to prevent from being blown out the window.

Interestingly enough, Yuki didn't seem to be bothered by the fact that she was being blown around the room. I wonder how much she weighs, anyway?

"Not that much." Asakura said, smiling.

"A-Asakura!"

"Can you grab on to that poll, Kyon-kun?"

"Sure." I said, grabbing one of the support beams.

"Okay, good. Now, I'll just shove this into you and-"

"Never mind." I said, letting go.

Suddenly, the male side of the building collapsed, leaving nothing but a thin tarp between us and the storm.

"There are too many people here!" Haruhi shouted.

"Someone needs to get off, now!" Haruhi shouted.

"I nominate Kyon!" Asakura said.

"I second that!" Taniguchi said.

"Well, you guys are great friends!" I shouted.

"Hey, guys, we might be able to get through this if we hold onto each other!" Koizumi shouted.

"I'll go along with that!" Taniguchi shouted, glomping onto Asahina-san.

"Get of Mikuru, pervert!" Haruhi and Tsuruya shouted, pushing Taniguchi so hard he almost fell through the tarp, if it wasn't for Asakura grabbing onto his arm, dragging him back and throwing him into the group, before grabbing onto us to.

"Asakura, why did you save Taiguchi?" I asked.

"Simple. If we want to survive, we need as many able bodied men as possible." Asakura said, smiling. "Of course, if it was you, I'd shove you out right away."

"Thanks."

"Hey, Kyon, you hear that?" Kunikida asked.

"No, I don't hear a thing."

"That's just it!" Kunikida shouted.

"What's just-oh!" I said, finally realizing it.

"The storm's subsided!" Haruhi shouted.

"Yeah you're right!" Taniguchi said, walking pulling the tarp back and walking outside.

"Aaaaahh!" I heard Taniguchi scream, saw him disappear, and hear a few rustling sounds.

"Taniguchi!" I shouted, looking down. I saw him hanging off of a palm tree branch.

"How did you end up in a palm tree?" Kunikida asked.

"Never mind that! What's the hut doing in a palm tree?" Haruhi shouted.

"Uh, can I get back to you on that?" Taniguchi shouted.

"Um, Haruhi, how are we going to get down from here?" I asked.

"Oh, Kyon-kun, we have a rope…" Asahina-san said, holding up a coil rope.

"Good job, Mikuru!" Haruhi said, glomping on to her.

"Su-Suzumiya-san!" Asahina-san said.

"Can we please just get down?" I asked, poking Haruhi on the shoulder.

"Fine…" She said, tying the rope down to a post, and tossing the end down.

And so, we climbed down the rope ladder.

"Kyon, we need to build more huts." Haruhi said.

"Fine, what should I do?" Well, we'll have the boys share a large two hut room hut, Mikuru and Tsuruya-san will share a hut with me, and Nagato and Ryoko will have a hut.

"Okay, fine."

"Oh, and Kyon, remember, you have to make our huts to." Haruhi shouted.

Yare-yare.

* * *

"Um, Suzumiya-san? Kyon? Anybody?" Taniguchi asked, still hanging on to the palm tree.

* * *

Mukuro: So, chapter 2 is up! I'm probably going to use the Taniguchi gets forgotten by the group shtick several more times throughout the course of the story. Also, like I said before, it will be a while before I update.


	3. Episode 3

Mukuro: Okay, I know I said I wouldn't update for a while, but due to my periodic insomnia due to my nightmares and my writers block on my other stories, I decided to update this one now.

Haruhi's Island

Episode 3: The natives are cheese-less

* * *

"Kyon, it's time to wake up!" Taniguchi said, causing my nearly sleepless eyelids to crack open.

"Taniguchi… I want to sleep for a few more minutes…" I muttered, shutting my eyes.

"Out of the question!" Haruhi shouted, causing me to spring out of bed.

"H-Haruhi!" I shouted. Thank god I was still wearing my boxers.

"What?"

"You can't just come into a guys room all of the sudden!" I shouted.

"I didn't. Koizumi let me in." I looked over her shoulder and saw Koizumi just look at me and give me his shrug.

"Okay, now that I'm awake, can you please just leave so I can get dressed?" I asked.

"Fine. You have one minute to get dressed, or it's the death penalty!" Haruhi said, walking out the makeshift door to our hut.

"One minute, huh…" I managed to make it just in time, and walked out to eat breakfast.

"So, what are we having for breakfast, girls?" Taniguchi said grinning.

"Well, since Mikuru can't cooks, I was left to make the meals, Nyoro!" Tsuruya-san said, grinning.

"Okay, that sounds great!" Kunikida said.

"Okay for an appetizer, we have smoked cheese! For our main course we have boiled smoked cheese. For desert we have-"

"OHHH!" Haruhi shouted.

"What's with the smoked cheese fetish?" Taniguchi asked.

"Are we ever going to find a use for this?" I asked.

"I say we should order take out!" Haruhi said.

"Haruhi, you do realize we're stranded here right?"

"Of course, but that's why they invented cell phones!" Haruhi said, pulling out her cell phone.

"Um, mine's kind of got no bars." Haruhi said.

"Oh, don't worry, mines a satellite phone, nyoro!" Tsuruya-san said, grinning.

"Oops, it's kind of megas busted…" She said, pulling out the smashed wreckage.

"Wait, I just remembered something!" I said, pulling out a phone.

"What is it, Kyon?" Haruhi asked.

"Well, my dad works for this cell phone company, and he got me this satellite phone for my birthday. Now, we just have to make a call to someone like my sister, and we'll be rescued!"

"Alright! Kyon comes through for us!" Haruhi shouted.

* * *

"Yeah, it was so funny, Miyoko! I almost died of laughter and- wait, I've got another call on the line." Kyon's sister said, switching the line.

"Sis, I have a problem!"

"Kyon, why are you calling me now? Where have you been for the last few days?"

"I was on a deserted island!"

"What?! Haruhi took you guys to a deserted island without me?!" She shouted.

"No, it's not that… well, anyway, like I said before, I have a major problem."

"Well can't it wait? I' talking to Miyokichi about that new movie that came out."

"Listen, I'm stranded on a deserted island!" I shouted.

"Okay, tell me about it in an hour or so, I have to get back on the phone with Miokichi."

Click

"So?! What did she say?!" Haruhi asked.

"She was talking to Miyoko, and she said that we could call back in an hour or so."

"Darn it!" Taniguchi shouted, chucking the phone at a tree. "I wanted to get off this island!"

"Taniguchi you idiot! You just broke our phone!" I shouted, shaking him.

"Oh, sorry." Apparently, though, for Haruhi, sorry doesn't cut it.

* * *

"Koizumi, what are you doing?" I asked as Koizumi dragged me into the jungle.

"Kyon, remember how I said I believe Suzumiya-san will not allow us to be rescued until she has a great adventure?"

"Yeah."

"So, all we have to do is have a great adventure, and she'll be happy." Koizumi said, grinning.

"Well, how do we do that?"

"We dress up as head-hunters." Koizui said, grinning.

* * *

"This is the dumbest thing I've ever done." I said.

"Oh, come on. You look good." Koizumi said, grinning.

"I look good? I'm dressed up like some sort of native!" I shouted, referring to the strange tribal clothes I was wearing.

"Oh, Kyon, remember you drum." Koizumi said, grinning.

Thup-Thump

Thum-Thup

Thump-Thump

**Another Island… **

"War drums from other island!" One Native American said.

"We must meet the enemy!" The chief shouted.

"Hey, Koizumi…" I said, looking through the binoculars we managed to salvage.

"What?"

"Why are those head-hunters coming towards the island?" I asked him, handing him the binoculars.

"Well, this will be a problem. We should probably go notify Suzumiya-san." He said, putting down the binoculars.

* * *

"Haruhi!" I shouted, running into camp.

"It's a head-hunter! Get him!" Haruhi shouted.

"Yarr!" Taniguchi, Kunikida, and Tsuruya-san shouted, charging at me.

"Wait, it's me, Kyon!"

"It's Kyon! Get him!" Asakura shouted.

"Guys, I'm afraid I have some very bad news for you." Koizumi said, grinning solemnly.

"What is it, Koizumi?" Haruhi asked.

"I'm afraid that our island is surrounded by head-hunters." He said. "I think it would be best for us to negotiate a deal with them, as we don't stand a chance in battle."

"I say we go with whatever he just said." Taniguchi said.

"Fine. We'll force them to unconditionally surrender." Haruhi said.

"So, all we can do is wait for their chief, huh?" I said.

"Right! And here he comes now!" Haruhi said, pointing to the figure walking towards us.

"So, you are tribe who has declared war on us." The man said.

"No, your highness. We do not wish to declare war on your tribe."

"Be that as it may, we cannot allow you to live on this island unless you pay us a significant sum."

"Okay, sure. Kyon, gimme your wallet." Hruhi said, reaching her hand to me.

"Sigh…"

"Okay, we'll give you… 24 dollars and a handful of beads." Haruhi said.

"You are quite funny. Long ago, our ancestors made the same deal for whole island of Manhattan. No deal." He said.

"Well, what are you willing to trade for the island?"

"Hm, we have not decided. How about…" Suddenly, the chief stopped short.

"What is that smell?" He asked.

"Oh, that? That's just my megas awesome smoked cheese dinner." Tsuruya-san said, laughing.

"May we try this smoked cheese?" The chief asked.

"Oh, sure! Here you go!" Tsuruya-san said, handing him a piece.

"This is delicious! We shall give you island for as much of this food as you have!" The chief shouted.

"But-"

"Deal!" Haruhi shouted.

"I am happy to have done business with you. Farewell, strangers." The chief said, walking away with our only food.

"Wait, we're stranded here!" I shouted.

But of course, I was too late.

* * *

Mukuro: Okay, not my best, but hey, I'm tired. You guys can cut me some slack, right?

Right?


	4. Episode 4

Mukuro: Okay, I admit it. I'm addicted. I can't stop writing for this story. This is the first episode with a recurring OC. He will show up in 3 or 4 episodes of the series.

Haruhi's Island

Episode 4: "Phantom" Thief Black

* * *

"Kyon!" Haruhi's angry voice shouted.

"Haruhi! I told you not to come in here while I'm sleeping!" I shouted.

"Kyon, what did you do with my arm band?!" Haruhi shouted, shaking my fatigued body back and forth.

"Why would I do anything with your arm band…?" I asked, wiping the sleep out of my eyes.

"Kyon-kun! My maid outfit is missing!" Asahina-san shouted, running into the room.

"Girls, I need some privacy!" I shouted, ushering them out of the room.

"Kyon!" Haruhi shouted.

"I'll listen to you after I get dressed! Now leave!"

* * *

"Okay, so we need a list of what everyone has lost!" Haruhi shouted. "I'll start."

"My Brigade Chief Arm Band is missing! If the thief comes out and admits it, I'll only kill him 3/4ths of the way."

"Well, my maid costume is missing to… and please, I'd like whoever borrowed it to please give it back…" Asahina-san said, frowning.

"Well, a few of my magazines have gone missing, and when I find out who took them…" Taniguchi said.

"Kyon, I told you to burn those!" Haruhi whispered.

"I did! He must have had more!" I whispered.

"Yuki, what about you?"

"Book…" She said.

"My combat knife is gone!" Asakura shouted. "When I find out who took it, Kyon, I'll do bad things to you."

"Well, some of my emergency provisions have gone missing…" Kunikida said.

"Well, that's not good. We'll starve to death!" Haruhi said.

"I lost something of great importance to me. My tooth cleaner." Koizumi said.

"My last stick of smoked cheese is gones, Nyoro!" Tsuruya-san said.

"I am not missing anything of importance." I said, much to the despair of my "friends".

"Well, there's only one thing to do!" Haruhi shouted.

"And that would be?"

"We have to find the thief!" Haruhi shouted.

* * *

"Atchoo!" A man sneezed, looking down at the commotion under the tree he was sitting in. Or, to be more specific, the ram shackled hut in the tree he was sitting in.

"Oh, well, it's not my problem." He said, picking another piece of fruit out of the basket as he lazily flipped through a large sci-fi novel.

* * *

"So, what evidence do we have that could help us?" Haruhi asked.

"Well, in the closet where my maid outfit used to be was a card." Asahina-san said, handing Haruhi a black card.

"'My dear, I have taken your prized possession. Farewell, Mademoiselle, signed, "Phantom", Thief Black.' What a crock." Haruhi said.

"Hey, I found a card like that to!" Taniguchi said.

"Me too!" Kunikida said.

"It must be an infestation!" Haruhi said.

"Who is this Phantom Thief Black anyway?" Asahina-san said.

"We interrupt this news bulletin to bring you a special message!" The radio said.

"Message?" Asakura asked.

"Reports from Honolulu confirm that it was indeed the infamous Phantom Thief Blake 'Black' Claus who stole the sacred tiki statue Wantumiga."

"Did that radio say Phantom Thief Black?" Haruhi asked.

"That's right, I said Phantom Thief Black. He's famous for never being captured, and has robbed jewelry stores and art museums from the east coast to the west coast. Now, to back Ed with the sports."

"So, let me get this straight. We have a famous thief on the island?" I asked.

"It would appear so." Koizumi said.

"That's 'Phantom' Thief…" The man in the hut on the tree muttered.

"Well, we have to find him soon!" Haruhi said.

"Haruhi, do you have any idea how he got on the island?" I asked.

"No."

"There must be a boat somewhere that he came in on." I said.

"Oh, so we just have to find the boat! Good thinking, Kyon."

"Like they're going to find the boat." Black muttered.

"Kyon, Taniguchi, you guys go search the west side of the island."

"Fine." I said, scowling.

"Mikuru, Tsuruya-san and I will go to the east side of the island." Haruhi said.

"Yuki, Asakura, you two go to the north side of the island."

"So, Koizumi and Kunikida will take the south side of the island." Haruhi finished.

"Now, go!" Haruhi shouted.

* * *

"Hey, let's check this cave!" Taniguchi said, pointing to a cave by the beach.

"Hey, I think there's some water in here!" I said.

"Really? Wher-" SPLASH!

"About a foot in front of me." I said.

"Thanks, Kyon."

"Hey, Kyon, I think we found the boat!" Taniguchi said, rocking an object sitting in the lake.

"Well, I didn't expect you to find my little cave." A voice said.

"Huh? Who's that?" Taniguchi asked, getting out of the water.

"Hello, my name is Black. Phantom Thief Black. It seems you've found my secret cave, hm?"

"Yeah, you could say that." I said.

"SO, why exactly are you here?" Taniguchi asked.

"Fine, let's go back to your camp, and I'll tell you all about it." Black said.

* * *

"So, Black, what's your excuse for stealing our stuff?!" Haruhi shouted.

"Well…"

"No excuses! Stealing from the SOS Brigade is a criminal offence! For that, it's the death penalty!"

"Can I at least explain it?" Black asked, tied to a chair.

"Fine."

"Well, you see, I have major kleptomania. I can't help but steal things, so I decided to do one last theft, and then leave to a deserted island." Black said.

"But why do you keep stealing?"

"Well, then I saw you guys, people stranded on a deserted island, my desire to steal returned, to the point of actually doing it." Black said.

"Okay, I understand, but we can't risk you stealing anymore. Until we repair your boat, which, by the way, we moved to the lagoon, we have to put you in a makeshift jail." Haruhi then took Black, who put up little struggle, and locked him in the cage they made.

"So, what should we do with him?" Haruhi asked.

"I say we should let him go. I mean he does have a disease." Kunikida said.

"True, but he is still a thief." Taniguchi said.

"So, let's put it to vote. Who thinks we should let him go?" Haruhi asked.

The score was 6/1 against and two abstains (Nagato & Asakura). Unfortunately, Black also heard them.

* * *

"So, here's your food, Black-san." Asahina-san said, as she and Tsuruya borught the food to him.

"Thank you, ma'am." He said, kissing Asahina's hand, much to my anger.

"O-oh…" Asahina-san said, blushing.

"Heys! What are you doing to my Mikuru-chans?!" Tsuruya-san shouted.

"Oh, please forgive me. You must feel left out, am I right?" Black said, kissing Tsuruya-sans' hand, too, causing her to blush.

"H-hey…" She stuttered.

"Mikuru, Tsuruya-san, what's taking so long?!" Haruhi asked.

"Sorry!" Tsuruya-san shouted, running with the still shocked Mikuru.

* * *

"So, tell me Black, what's the real reason you're here?" Taniguchi asked.

"I already told you. But enough about me, what about you?" Black asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Taniguchi-san, it seems that you're stuck on a deserted island with 5 girls. I'm sure that someone like you, being as handsome, and smooth as you are, couldn't get rejected if he asked one of the ladies to, well, you know…"

"Really?!" He said, grinning.

"Yes, you really are just like I was. Good luck, and do the best you can!" Black said, brushing a lock of brown hair out of his eyes.

* * *

"Okay, once again, let's take a vote!" Haruhi said that night.

And so, this time the vote was 3/4 for with two abstains. So, Black was let out.

"Thanks, guys. I don't know how I can ever thank you for this." Black said, grinning.

"Think nothing about it, Black!" Haruhi said, grinning.

* * *

"Kyon! The boat's gone!" Haruhi shouted, waking me up from my peaceful sleep.

"What do you mean it's gone?!" I shouted, throwing on some clothes and running out.

"Here, there's a note!" Haruhi said, picking up a black note.

"What's it say, Haruhi?" I asked.

"It says 'Dear Castaways, I am sorry to inform you that in the middle of the night my urge to steal returned, so in order to not steal anything else from you, I was forced to take my boat and sail back to Hawaii. Unfortunately, I couldn't fight the urge off and ended up appropriating a small sum of money from Kyons' wallet. It was about $75 worth in yen. I am sorry for betraying you like this, but I'm afraid I had no choice. Best Wishes, "Phantom" Thief Black.'" Haruhi said, ripping up the note and tossing it over her shoulder.

"Well, it's not that bad! He's going to go get help!" Taniguchi said.

"Taniguchi, think about it for a second. Do you honestly think that he, a wanted criminal, can just walk into the police station and tell them about us? Think, damn it!" I muttered.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

* * *

Mukuro: Sorry for it being so long. I kind of have a special place in my heart for Black. He's the kind of guy I hate, being smoother than oil. That means that he's really fun to write for. Watch out for the certain request from two other authors next chapter!

P.S. This will probably be the last time I update my stories for a while, due to family issues and being out of Wi-fi area.


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